Welcome to the Club

Welcome to the club we never intended to be members of. This is not the envious "she man women's hater club" with sweet Petey as the gatekeeper. If the reference to the core memory of the 90s movie The Little Rascals is missed, it may be the light-hearted humor needed for such a time as this.

No, this club is different. It is unwelcome, painful, and unknowing. There was no desire to be here, no acceptance ceremony, but it claimed you, your family, the dreams that came alive after taking your positive pregnancy test. You became a family then. You are still a family now. I don't know why you are here anymore, the reason I was precisely where you are now, years ago. But what I can tell you and know to be true is that you are loved in this space, you have a community here, and you are enough.

The biggest truth is that your story will be redeemed. Your story, your family, and your heart will all be redeemed. There is hope after a loss. Once pain and possible hopeless feelings set in, I encourage you to take time to reflect and process the rawness you feel. I can't tell you how long it will take you to be OK or fully ready to try again. Your journey is unique. In this middle space between loss and redemption, I want to leave you with three encouragements:

1. consistency: stay consistent in healthy daily rhythms, and eat well to nurture your healing body. Move and journal daily, get all the emotions built on the page, say them out loud, and give all you feel inside to Jesus. He wants all the good and raw emotions, and the best part is He can handle them.

2. Community: The devil wants to isolate you, so lean on those who love you most. There may not be words to say, but be near to others and lean into your relationship with Jesus; he is near the brokenhearted.

3. Counseling: When you are at the end of yourself, talk to a counselor. They are angels doing the Lord's work and can help us process grief, moving us through our feelings to hope.

Above all, know you are not alone. Remember that club may not be one we desire, but we are a close-knit group ready to love and fight for our own. You are loved by those who love you, but most importantly, by your Heavenly Father. You are enough just as you are as a family of one, two, or 100. Press into the hard moments of grief. Redemption is coming, and there is hope in the healing.

- Nichole

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